A MILESTONE ACHIEVED, SITTING IN A PEW

Today another milestone was conquored in my life. Today I went to church. That may not sound like a big milestone to you, especially if you went to school with me, but I haven't been to church in.. Well, let's just say a long time. At first, it was honestly because I didn't want to, and at the time of living with my cousin, I didn't have to either. Then it turned into being forced to go to church, which instantly made me rebel of course. And now it's really that I don't have any one to go to church with, or a ride there most of the time, and I refuse to sit alone. But whatever my excuses, honestly these past few months I haven't felt like going to church. By all means, judge me how you want on that, (when you think about it though, isn't He the only one that should judge?) but since my mom passed away, I didn't feel that same need to go to church like I used to. It's not like I lost faith in God or anything, if anything I feel that my relationship with God is at it's strongest yet. But today, after being bugged for weeks to go to church, I finally went. If I didn't like going to church in the first place, then I detest going to where I went today. Even though this place is where it all began for me, I honestly hate going there. I don't know what it is about that place that makes my insides go in knots, but I hate that feeling. Theres always something that I don't like about it. Stuffy area, constant murmurs of tagalog, run-in's with almost forgotten people, boring priests, and have you noticed how unbelievably cold is always is in there? Well today, while donning uggs, a scarf and coat for the extra cold, Mass actually wasn't that bad. Not once did I have to look at my watch and think "is it over yet??" No, today wasn't too bad. Unexpectedly I didn't even have to sit alone since an old friend came and sat beside me, and even better, she hadn't gone to church even longer then I had. Today I actually understood what they were talking about, maybe it was because I was actually listening, and I started to feel that good feeling that I used to get when I went to church. I'm not saying that I'm turning back around to my old weekly habit, but my mind is slowly taking church out of the list of places where I don't want to spend my Sunday.

If I fall, will you pick me up?